you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm at about main and main street
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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