the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
