Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
