Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
