Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can't talk, ducks in the car
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
