I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
