ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
