The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
God, I missed his penis.
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