But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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