i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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