it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
