how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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