38 yer olds are good kisserssss
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
