This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
