I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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