i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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