UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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