Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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