No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
