A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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