I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
