gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
