I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
try to milk me bitch
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
