sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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