I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
