if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
