just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
