Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
