my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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