I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have feelings that need drinking.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
last night I used snow as a chaser
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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