Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
