How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
