Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
