get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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