are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
