You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
