I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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