is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
