Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
sex in a hospital.. check
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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