Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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