Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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