If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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