make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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