the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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