I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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