So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
