Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
