Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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