imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
