I want you more than these girls want KFC
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
