i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
