i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
